Manifesto

Accordingly, I present the Manifesto of traveling peoples.

Traveling peoples of the world unite together for a great mission of the preservation and promotion of culture and travel throughout the world. Today is a day to remember, the first day of a new world, a world that lives by a new doctrine, the doctrine of the traveling person.

Traveling people shall join into this contract of life in travel and abide by this creed. We set forth our manifesto.

i) Traveling people shall unite under one vision, one common goal, the spread of knowledge of cultures and ideas to all the peoples of the world.

ii) As traveling people we shall not let the tyrannies of the world prevail. We shall fight it with knowledge of travel and culture where ever it exists, in all of its forms.

iii) We will liberate our fellow brothers bound by oppression so that they may join us in traveling the world.

iv) We shall at all times celebrate our differences and encourage others to do the same.

v) We will never travel in haste and will always plan for frequent diversions from our itineraries.

vi) We will always help a distressed traveling brother whenever we are called to aid.

Our manifesto is our bond. Travel on brothers-in-travel.

Escape

ISLAMORADA, FL. Back at long last! I have escaped a most treacherous experience. Recently I traveled via a bamboo raft from Key West Florida to Cuba for a very rare and special treat unavailable in the United States. I am going to refrain from giving exact details, dates, and names for obvious reasons. My journey began about one month ago. I had been spending time in Miami Florida when I had a very strong urge for a true Cuban mojito. I am not talking about one of those horse-mint Bacardi knockoffs the sell in New York or Boston. But the real deal made with mentha sachalinensis and true Cuban rum blanca. The kind you can only find in once place, Havana.
The point of departure was an abandoned bridge north-east on US 1 about 30 miles from Key West proper, where I fashioned a small bamboo raft lashed with hemp rope. Since I have extensive experience in ocean survival from days sailing in northern Australia, I was not worried about this simple 90-mile jaunt.
My craft shuttled me with the grace and speed of any such crude sailing vessel. I arrived in Cuban water after 4 days of sailing. My readers familiar with sailing to Cuba know the most dangerous part is the last mile. When I approached this point I made my move. In style of Jaques Yves Cousteau, I suited up in my SCUBA gear and dove in. My plan was flawless, Cuban authorities would find my raft and assume refugees were leaving Cuba, not someone trying to enter.
I arrived unscathed in the 40 minutes it took me to swim one mile to shore. I judged I would have about 42 minutes of air time at a depth of 22ft. Why 22 ft? This is the safest-shallowest depth in waters off Guillanos Bay. In that area most of the ships draw a maximum of 19 feet and I wanted at least 3 feet of margin from their propellers. The inexperienced SCUBA diver requires more air then those who dive regularly, but in fact I have conditioned myself to require less air than 99% of all SCUBA divers. The average SCUBA diver would only have 31 minutes of air time at that depth in a flat out swim. I had about 5 minutes of air time left when I crawled on to Cuban soil.
I had prepared a change of clothes in a compressed wet bag, I had brought one pair of linen pants, one linen shirt, and a genuine crushable panama hat made in Honduras. Once I was in proper local attire, I went searching for the perfect mojito.

David Livingston Mugged!

CAPETOWN SOUTH AFRICA - David Livingston was mugged early this morning shortly after landing in Capetown International Airport (CIA) while traveling to his hotel off the north bay shore. Two muggers approached him with gravity knives when they reportedly identified him has an American tourist by his American Eagle cargo pants. Livingston gave up his wallet, including $100 USD, two credit cards, a Washington D.C. metro card, and the pair of American Eagle cargo pants. Physically unhurt, but emotionally damaged, Livingston reported the incident to the American embassy, and local authorities. An American official at the US Embassy Capetown, who asked not to be identified, said sarcastically of the incident "we are going to put the crime lab on this one." Livingston had reportedly been warned of the dangers of Capetown and that wearing American Eagle cargo pants would identify him as an American. At the time of writing Livingston was resting comfortably at his hotel in a new pair of capri pants.

Vice

Yesterday, working with undercover agents in Miami, FL, I exposed a ring of urbanities posing as regional Canadian tour guides. The ruse was discovered by a fellow blogger (who will remain unnamed, but blogs under the pseudonym AlsoTravelingPerson). The fraudsters were exposed to authorities using my extreme knowledge of all things travel related. After luring them to the hotel lobby with the promise of "free" tickets to the Miami sea aquarium, I quizzed them on the names of municipalities of remote islands in eastern Canada. When they came up short on the 10th out of the 10 prepared questions I knew I had the fraudsters. They claimed to be on vacation in the area, and "knew nothing" of my accusations.

Provebs of the Trail

A few years ago while walking the Australian outback, I learned an old Chinese proverb from a Canadian I met on a walkabout. The proverb goes something like this: A gem is not polished without rubbing... [the second half I have since forgotten]. I really think some politicians, and those in professions not enlightened through travel, should listen to the lessons of others, the lessons of travel, and the lessons of ancient cultures.

My Epic Journey Through the Oregon Trail... (Part 2)

The Oregon Trail, my path, my journey to Manifest Destiny. This grueling, 6 state jaunt into the wilderness, tests the bravest and kills off the weak and feeble. I myself am a respected physician, a believer in God, and from noble blood, so I am inclined to think our journey is blessed from the start.

My counterparts however are limey bastards who founded rock-n-roll, more like the devil's music I say! Yes, they are a motley crew, but they seem up to the task, however to me there lives are clearly expendable.

We are nearing Flag Hill in Kansas where we will make camp and search for food. Time will tell how successful we will be at surviving in the wild...

Sorry... dozed off. The slow rolling of the wagon is hypnotic and it is easy to get lost in your dreams. Until next time traveling people...

My Epic Journey Through the Oregon Trail... (Part 1)

I met up with my fellow travelers at Independence, Missouri for the adventure of a lifetime. There were five of us... John, Paul, George, Ringo, and myself, Dr. David Livingstone. I gathered up all the necessary supplies from the general store. John and Paul went to the armory and picked up weaponry while George and Ringo acquired the transportation. Oxen... my god. These magnificent creatures must have been plucked from God's stable. We all met up at the wagon, exchanged goodbyes and promises of fortune to love ones, we set off. As we trotted out of town I knew many dangers lied ahead, but nothing, nothing could prepare me for the next two months.

the Lie of Ecotourism

Ecotourism touts environmentally friendly travel, to pristine remote locations. I have a bone to pick with the Ecotourists of the web community. A recent study by a panel of experts shows ecotourism is no more environmentally friendly then regular suitcase travel. The problem illuminated by the panel of experts lies in the greenhouse gases emitted during travel to these remote locations. The catch-22, ecotourism is actually damaging the very environment it intends to protect!

Thailand

Thailand for dummies. Let me try and describe to you how Thailand makes me feel. In a word, on top of the world. Okay, so that was five words, but never have spoken words of greater truth. Thailand is a place where the fantasies of elephants and relaxing sandy beaches are a reality. What I truly love about Thailand, is the way I feel about myself when I am there. I feel like a powerful American conquering the east with all my might, but at the same time I also feel in tune with the cultural vibrations created by the presence of a western being. When you travel to different countries, these cultural vibrations stick with you, some people call this culture shock, but if you play them back loud enough, you will hear those vibrations turn into a your own cultural symphony.

Dreams of South East Asia

This morning I awoke in a pool of my own sweat, good sweat that is, sweat from my dream of lying in a hammock on a secluded Island in the South Pacific. I am not sure what the name of the island was, but it had crystal white sand, green palms, and indigo water. From the ocean color, I think it must lie east of Borneo, where minerals from volcanic rock impart the unique indigo color to the sea. The green palms only exist in a small corridor west of Papua New Guinea, bracketed on the top by the sweeping islands of Micronesia. From my detective work, my dream must have occurred on the archipelago (a chain or cluster of Islands) of the Lessar Sunda Islands. Although I have not traveled there, I am familiar with the crystal white sands. A few months ago, a fellow traveler brought me back a vial of this white sand. Using a leather strap, I have fashioned that vial of South East Asian sand into a necklace I wear as a reminder of travels to come. This morning, dazed from my fantastical dream, I grasped my neck charm, and was comforted back to sleep. This is why I travel.